Rise of Skywalker: A Complete Cinematic Failure

  • Published on:  5/20/2020
  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, what a truly incredible trainwreck. Watch the uncensored version of this video at http://patreon.com/thevitoshow.

    In this movie, co-writers J.J. Abrams and Chris Terrio demonstrate their complete inability to craft anything even resembling a meaningful (or coherent) plotline, forever cementing the fate of the most spectacular franchise failure in history. Six months out from this farce, with the blackness knocking on our doors, let's take a closer look at everything that went wrong.

    In part one, we examine how Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy allowed the Skywalker Saga to fail from hour one, by not laying out a competent framework for the trilogy.

    In part two, we take a look at how this movie retcons Rian Johnson’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi, with a gotcha mentality that pranks the audience.

    In part three, we see the tragic loss of Carrie Fisher, and discuss a more fitting tribute for Princess Leia. Perhaps one akin to Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2?

    Part four is all about fetch quests, and how the plot of this movie is structured like a bad Final Fantasy game.

    Part five we meet the Knights of Ren, the most boring characters ever.

    Part six, the rushed pacing of this Star Wars Episode IX movie script and how it ruins many a scene.

    Part seven and we must discuss the return of Emperor Palpatine. How did Sheev return? Who knows!?

    Part eight? Time for some BABU FRIK!

    Part nine and Palpatine’s fleet of first order Star Destroyers (sorry, final order Star Destroyers) is examined. Who built these things!?

    Part ten we discuss the character of Finn, the rogue stormtrooper played by John Boyega.

    Part eleven and it’s the thrilling battle for Exegol! What a terrible scene!

    Part twelve and it’s time to discuss Kylo Ren, played by Adam Driver. Why was Kylo ren evil? Why did he do away with Han Solo? We may never know…

    Part thirteen and it’s time to meet REY SKYWALKER as played by Daisy Ridley. The Rise of Skywalker ending is quite a nightmare to behold!

    The Rise of Skywalker: A Complete Cinematic Failure. Episode IX.

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    All Written by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0


    0:00 Spoiler Warning
    0:09 Opening
    2:12 Chapter 1 - Kathleen Kennedy & The No-Good Very Bad Plan
    6:51 Chapter 2 - Star Wars: The Last Gotcha
    14:05 Chapter 3 - Sleep Well, My Cocaine Princess
    17:49 Chapter 4 - Fetch Quest: The Motion Picture
    21:41 Chapter 5 - The Knights of Boring
    23:12 Chapter 6 - Dragonball Time
    26:20 Chapter 7 - Rey's Magic Grandpa
    30:36 Chapter 8 - Babu Frik Rules
    30:43 Chapter 9 - Palpatine's Stupid Star Destroyers
    35:06 Intermission
    36:00 Chapter 10 - Finn Done Dirty
    38:30 Chapter 11 - Never Tell Me the Odds
    41:19 Chapter 12 - The Tragedy of Ben Solo
    48:08 Chapter 13 - Palpatine's Plan Makes No Sense
    48:39 Chapter 13 - Palpatine Dies Like a B
    50:12 Chapter 14 - The Rise of Rey Skywalker
    55:22 Chapter 15 - The Death of Star Wars